You got into game to meet hot women. You improved. You started getting dates and getting laid. So why do you feel worse?
That is the question behind the Game Depression Cycle. More results can hide a problem with the reason you are pursuing them.
I am talking about a pattern I recognised in my own experience. You can spend years trying to solve the wrong problem while congratulating yourself on how hard you are working.
Who are you trying to impress?
On the surface, the explanation is straightforward. You want to get laid with women you find attractive. Fair enough.
But look one level deeper. Are you also trying to prove something to the people who dismissed you? The girl who rejected you years ago? The guys who made you feel like a loser? The colleague whose approval somehow still matters?
In the podcast, I call those old sources of hurt your pain bodies. The term describes the baggage I am talking about. You need to look at your own motives, rather than assume the same story explains every man.
Suppose you meet a woman, have a good time, then find that the most exciting part is telling your friends. Their reaction becomes the payoff. Now your dating life is doing a job it was never going to finish. It is supposed to make the past disappear.
First comes the Flywheel of Frustration
A guy starts approaching. He collects numbers, sends messages, gets the occasional date and spends far too much time trying to revive dead conversations.
He gets enough results to keep going, but much of his attention stays on women who aren't responding. I call that the Flywheel of Frustration.
There is an immediate practical problem with how he is spending his time. There may also be another reason he won't leave it alone. Each reply briefly reassures him that he is doing better than before.
When that feeling disappears, he goes back to the phone.
Then comes the Flywheel of Mediocrity
Improve the practical side and another trap can appear. Now you can get laid regularly, but you keep choosing women you aren't particularly excited about.
The result still gives you something to report. You can keep the numbers moving. You can keep telling yourself that you have won.
Yet the satisfaction gets shorter. Eventually you are working harder to maintain a routine that leaves you feeling empty. You are getting the result you can obtain, while avoiding the question of whether it is the one you want.
I compare that chase for another hit to addiction in the recording. The useful part of the comparison is recognising the repetition. It is not a diagnosis.
Stop using the numbers to avoid the question
I went through this pattern myself, to the point of wanting to stop game. That experience is why I take the question seriously.
Would you still choose this dating life if you couldn't tell anybody about it? Would you still want to see the same women? What would you change if nobody were available to applaud?
Those questions get closer to the difference between pursuing your own desires and trying to settle a score with society.
The public episode explains the cycle. The discussion of how I worked through it continues in the longer member recording. You can also read The Flywheel of Mediocrity, which examines the routine, the costs and the discipline required to change it.
Before you chase another result, be honest about the job you are asking that result to do.
