Everybody tells you to look at her eyes. Listen to her voice. Notice whether she touches you.
In this episode I turn the attention to the feet and legs. The opening, though, deals with a more basic problem. If you don't know what is normal for the person, what exactly are you comparing the movement with?
That is what I mean by a baseline.
Normal for whom?
Some people move their hands all the time. Some are quiet. Some speak with a lot of variation in their voice. Others barely change their tone.
If you treat all of them as though they normally behave in the same way, you will invent differences that aren't there and miss the differences that matter.
Think about someone you know well. You can often notice that something has changed before they explain it. You recognise their usual manner, so the departure stands out.
With somebody you have just met, you don't have that history. You need to spend some time actually paying attention.
The setting is part of the baseline
A person can behave differently in a club and a library. The same woman may be more expressive with friends than with a stranger who has just introduced himself.
That doesn't require an elaborate explanation. The setting changed. Her relationship with the people around her changed.
In The Close I discuss Full Profiling, and in this episode I connect that idea with the baseline. What have you actually observed about this person? What have you merely assumed from the place, her appearance or your expectations?
Keep the distinction clear. Otherwise you are reading your own story back to yourself and calling it perception.
Notice more than one thing
The recording emphasises looking for several observations together. A change in movement may come with a change in tone or the amount somebody contributes to the conversation.
That gives you more to notice. It still doesn't make you a mind reader. Nervous behaviour cannot, by itself, tell you why somebody is nervous or prove that they are lying.
The practical use is to notice a change and respond to the person. Ask. Listen. Give her space if she seems uncomfortable. Her answer matters more than your favourite interpretation of a gesture.
Why look beyond the face?
My interest in the feet and legs comes from looking at parts of the interaction that people often ignore. A man can concentrate so hard on the next thing he wants to say that he stops noticing almost everything else.
The public recording introduces that wider attention and the importance of the baseline. The detailed discussion of individual foot and leg movements continues in the longer member recording.
The foundation is useful on its own. Before attaching a meaning to a movement, ask what you have seen this person do so far, what just changed and what was happening when it changed.
You can continue the series with torso, chest, shoulders and arms. Keep the same discipline. Look at the person in front of you, not a checklist in your head.
