Procrastination in game is fear in disguise. You want to find out whether the girl likes you, but you also want to avoid the point where she might say no. So you find something else to do.
You walk around for another hour. You collect a number. You keep discussing where to go. You decide that the next date will somehow make the difficult part easy.
These can look like different problems. In the podcast, I connect them through the same question. What decision are you postponing because you don't want to risk rejection?
Getting out is only the first step
Approach anxiety is the obvious example. You go out with the intention of meeting women and spend most of the session avoiding conversations.
The first thing is to get your ass out of the door. Then start talking. If an ordinary conversation feels difficult, begin with something manageable, such as asking for directions or giving a sincere compliment.
You need to do that regularly. One brave afternoon followed by three weeks of avoiding the street doesn't give you much practice.
The point is to become familiar with talking to people. It is not to invent a new ritual you have to complete perfectly before you are allowed to say hello.
A number can be another delay
You get her number and walk away feeling fantastic. What actually happened? You got another way of contacting her. You haven't established that she wants to spend time with you.
I am hard on this in the episode because the number can become a very comfortable stopping point. You feel as though you achieved something and leave before making an invitation she might decline.
If you want to take her for a quick drink and the situation allows it, ask. An instant date gives you a different kind of information from a name in your phone. She is choosing to spend some time with you now.
If she says no, you have an answer. There is no value in protecting an imaginary yes by never asking the question.
Make an actual suggestion
Once she agrees to spend time with you, you still need to know what you are proposing. This is why I discuss logistics in SDL King.
Know a place. Suggest it clearly. Be capable of making a decision instead of turning every small step into a negotiation with yourself.
This is also where reviewing infield becomes useful. In the episode, I describe a remote Hustler Elite student sending recordings for feedback. The written material gave him the concepts. Reviewing the interaction let us examine the verbal details, body language and moves.
You can say “I need more confidence” for years. A recording might reveal that you hesitate every time you suggest moving somewhere. Now you have something specific to work on.
Stop deciding her answer in your head
The final delay is assuming that another meeting will make everything easier. Perhaps it will. You don't know that she will come out again, and you don't know her answer to an invitation you haven't made.
My point is to stop substituting your fear for information. If you want the evening to continue and the interaction is mutual, make an invitation. Her answer belongs to her. If she doesn't want to continue, accept it.
Learning to handle a no is part of the work. Avoiding the question can keep you comfortable while leaving you exactly where you started.
Before your next session, identify the step you usually postpone. Then notice the explanation you give yourself when you reach it. Are you responding to what is happening, or finding another way to avoid being rejected?
Work on that step. Bring a real interaction back for review. You can't improve a decision you keep refusing to make.
