Progress does not always arrive in neat daily instalments. Sometimes you repeat the work, feel as though nothing is changing and then suddenly understand something you had been missing for weeks.

One of my students called it a step function. Flat for a while, then a jump.

Teaching in Odessa in 2021 gave me a very clear example. The difference was not simply how many conversations the students had. It was whether those conversations forced them to confront something their familiar routine allowed them to avoid.

A pleasant conversation can hide a weak performance

One student spoke to a woman he found particularly attractive. He came away thinking the interaction had been reasonably good, although it had not developed into a date or an exchange of numbers.

My reading was different. I thought he had repeatedly sought her approval without noticing he was doing it.

She accepted his compliments, sometimes amplifying them by saying she heard that often. He kept giving more. The conversation could sound superficially pleasant while becoming increasingly one-sided.

That was my interpretation of the interaction, and we discussed the details. The lesson was about his own behaviour. You cannot control whether a woman likes you, but you can notice when you start trying to purchase her approval with another compliment.

He initially resisted the feedback. Then he recognised something he did not want to keep repeating.

The uncomfortable part was useful

The experience bothered him because it contradicted how he thought he was coming across. That gap gave us something concrete to work on.

He was not learning a new fact about a model. He was recognising his own behaviour under pressure.

This is one reason a difficult interaction can teach you more than another easy one. It reveals which parts of your confidence survive when you actually care about the outcome.

But difficulty alone is not education. You need to examine what happened. Otherwise, you can accumulate unpleasant experiences without changing anything except your opinion of other people.

Do not automatically retreat to the familiar

I compared that experience with another student's decision to return to the mall while we were working in a different environment.

The mall was familiar. He knew how to operate there. That made it comfortable, but it also reduced the chance of encountering something new.

There is a place for familiar practice. You need repetitions. The question is whether you are choosing the environment because it serves today's learning objective or because it protects you from feeling inexperienced again.

In the same period, the first student continued working in situations he found more demanding. He had opportunities to observe, try and receive feedback that his usual routine would not have produced.

That is what I meant by the potential for a step change. A new situation exposes a limitation, and the feedback helps you understand it.

Choose a challenge with something to teach you

You do not need to turn every outing into a punishment. Nor is a woman obliged to make your practice rewarding. If she does not want to engage, leave her alone.

The challenge is to stop organising your entire learning process around avoiding discomfort. Meet people you actually want to meet. Try environments where your habits are less automatic. Then review your own decisions honestly.

The question is not whether you looked impressive throughout the session. It is whether you learned something you can use next time.

Sometimes the moment that annoys you most is the moment you finally see it.