You and your wingman meet up to approach women. First you discuss the best opener. Then one of you needs a coffee. The next woman isn't quite his type. It starts raining. By six you are having a beer and explaining why the city was bad today.
You didn't have a bad day of game. You had a perfectly ordinary afternoon with your mate.
I have gone out with wings, including Tom, and enjoyed it. I also think relying on one can hold you back. The question is whether the arrangement helps you practise or gives you company while you avoid practising.
The crutch becomes the routine
A wingman can make going out feel easier. You have somebody to talk to, somebody who understands what you are doing and somebody to nudge you towards the first approach.
But what happens when he cannot come? If the whole session disappears, you have made your practice dependent on another person's availability. That is a fairly serious weakness in something you claim matters to you.
Even when he is there, conversation can become a distraction. You discuss the last interaction instead of noticing the next opportunity. You negotiate whose turn it is. You start considering whether he will approve of the woman you want to meet.
Why does that matter? You are the one who finds her attractive. You don't need a committee to ratify your taste.
Watch the comparison
Your friend goes on an instant date early in the session. You are still walking around. Suddenly you feel behind, even though individual results vary and the two of you may be at different stages of learning.
Or he is less experienced, so you feel impressive beside him. That can be just as unhelpful. Feeling better than a beginner is a poor substitute for improving your own process.
Then come the practical interruptions. Where are you? Which street? Shall we meet halfway? You spend time coordinating the day instead of living it. I remember doing this with Tom. We had fun, but the logistics and comparison were still there.
The moment you actually introduce yourself to a woman, you have to handle your own side of the interaction. Your wing cannot supply your presence for you. That is the bit you need to get comfortable with.
Go out on your own
Choose a manageable solo session. Go somewhere familiar, keep your own standards and notice what happens when nobody else is there to judge or distract you. If you want to approach somebody, make the approach. If she isn't interested, respect that and continue with your day.
The first sessions may feel uncomfortable. That doesn't mean you need to call your mate immediately. You are learning to start and sustain the activity yourself.
You can still have friends. You can still discuss experiences afterwards. The title's instruction to kill your wingman is a joke about removing the dependency, not about the person.
Arrange social time as social time and practice as practice. You will probably enjoy both more when you stop pretending that three coffees and an argument about openers are an advanced seduction session.
