John F had been approaching women for two or three years. He wasn't describing a complete beginner who had never said hello. He was describing somebody whose activity wasn't producing the results he thought it should.
Then a friend showed him one of my videos. John watched it, tried a different approach and came back with a story worth discussing.
The interesting part wasn't that one video had magically completed his education. It was that he recognised a particular habit and changed what he did next.
What John said he changed
John works in marketing and was living in Lisbon. In our conversation, he identified inconsistency and disappointing results as his main problems. He also noticed how quickly he tended to end an interaction when something didn't go smoothly.
After watching the video, he became more willing to state his interest and make a clear invitation. He described a day with several approaches, some numbers, dates and a kiss. Those are his reported experiences, not independently verified statistics or a forecast for anybody else's first day.
One distinction matters. The story did not establish that every promising date resulted in sex. John said the pandemic restrictions interrupted what he hoped would happen next. Hoping an interaction will develop and knowing that it did are different things.
We can learn from the change without upgrading the outcome to make a better headline.
Give her an actual choice
Some men leave before they have asked for anything. They assume she cannot be interested, read uncertainty as a final answer and end the conversation themselves. Making a clear, respectful invitation can reveal that the situation is different from the one they imagined.
That is different from refusing to accept a no. If she says she doesn't want to talk or meet, stop. The useful challenge is to your own premature conclusion, not to her right to make a decision.
John's account included giving one woman his number when she didn't want to share hers. She later chose to contact him. That leaves the next step with her, which is a useful distinction from treating access to somebody as something you must extract.
Experience can change the story in your head
John had believed that women in his country were particularly difficult to meet. His own experience made him question how much of that belief came from the way he was approaching.
You don't need to replace one sweeping national stereotype with another. You need enough actual interaction to see that the story you told yourself may be incomplete.
I related this to my own first street approach. I had seen somebody doing it on video, tried it and been surprised that a woman would give me her number. I was nervous enough that I needed to sit down afterwards. The experience made something that had seemed strange feel possible.
That is a starting point. It still needs practice, judgment and review. John was moving into more structured study when we spoke, rather than claiming there was nothing left to learn.
Think about the conclusion you make before you have really tested it. Make an honest introduction, ask clearly when there is interest and respect the response. Then review what actually happened. Your next useful lesson may be much more specific than "the women here are difficult."
