You approach a lot of women, collect a lot of numbers and go on a lot of instant dates. Sounds good. But what happens afterwards?
If the answer is endless texting and very little of the dating life you want, those early numbers may be flattering you. Activity matters, but it isn't automatically evidence that your process works well.
In this episode I demonstrate two metrics using a hypothetical record in the Infield app. The figures illustrate a point. They are not a report of a real student's results, and the spoken walkthrough is not a benchmark you should try to copy.
Follow the interaction past the easy number
A number close is an early step. An instant date is another. They can be useful, but neither tells you the whole story.
Imagine two periods of practice. In the first, you collect more numbers and have more short dates, but very few of those meetings develop. In the second, you make your interest clearer, meet fewer women who are merely being friendly and spend less time on interactions that don't go anywhere.
The second period can look worse if all you count is numbers collected. Yet you may be using your time better and creating more of the mutual attraction you actually want.
This is the problem with a vanity metric. It is real enough to count but incomplete enough to mislead you.
The two numbers need context
The first metric I emphasise is approach-to-sex conversion. How many introductions eventually lead to a consensual sexual relationship? If that is your stated goal, it is more informative than the size of your contacts list.
The second is instant-date conversion, considered alongside what happens through the later stages. Can you invite a woman to spend time with you? Once she does, is there enough mutual interest for the date to develop?
In SDL King I describe the three-step logistics process and its venues. Looking at movement through those stages can help identify where your execution needs work. Perhaps you can start an interaction but never suggest continuing it. Perhaps your dates stay friendly because you never communicate attraction.
There is another possibility the episode makes explicit. You may be persuading somebody to join you even though she isn't especially interested. More persistence is not necessarily the answer. You need to read the situation better and accept when the interest isn't there.
Measure to learn, not to boast
Keep an honest record of your own activity and outcomes. Use consistent definitions, keep personal identities out of the log and don't manufacture impressive numbers for an audience.
A small sample can move around a great deal. A different city, schedule or set of circumstances can also change what happens. The record should start useful questions, not give you a scientific-looking excuse to declare yourself amazing or hopeless.
Review where the process changes. Are you clearer in the approach? Are you choosing better moments to invite somebody? Are you spending less time chasing people who have already shown little interest?
The next improvement should follow from an observed problem. Collecting another hundred numbers because numbers are easy to count won't necessarily help. Know the result you want, understand the steps that lead towards it and measure enough of the process to tell the difference.
