You can spend an entire evening worrying about the perfect line for one woman. Meanwhile, you have hardly met any women you actually want. Then you wonder why your dating life depends on whether a stranger replies to a message.
My answer in the Tony’s World Tour podcast was volume plus process. It sounds almost offensively simple. Good. The point is to make it useful, not to make you feel clever for understanding it.
Start where the women are
First, location matters. If your goal is to meet a particular type of woman, you need to spend time somewhere you can actually meet her. You cannot fix an absence of opportunities with a more elaborate opener.
When I talk about the hottest women, I mean women I am genuinely excited about. Beautiful, feminine, someone I want to see again and would be happy to introduce to the people in my life. Your standard has to mean something to you. It cannot just be a number you announce to impress another man.
In that episode I set myself an approach target of ten to fifteen women I found outstandingly attractive each week. That was a working target for my goal, not a mathematical promise about anybody else's results. The useful question is whether your location and behaviour give you enough real opportunities to pursue what you say you want.
Keep your standards when it gets uncomfortable
Approach discipline means approaching the women you actually want to meet. It also means accepting that the situation will often be inconvenient. She appears when you are not expecting it, you are feeling flat, or introducing yourself involves the possibility of looking foolish.
Waiting for a perfect setting is a very efficient way of doing nothing.
There is another trap. You avoid the woman you really like and fill your time with dates you are not excited about. Then your calendar is busy and you call that progress. Busy doing what? Be honest about the goal before you start congratulating yourself on the activity.
Do the process on the date
The same discipline applies once you meet. A woman you find exceptionally attractive can make you abandon everything you normally do. Suddenly you are trying to protect the possibility of seeing her again. You become less direct precisely because you want her more.
My answer is to judge my own execution of the Straight Line Sex System. Did I make my interest clear? Did I move the interaction forward when that interest was returned? Or did I retreat into a safe conversation because rejection would hurt my ego?
She gets to decide whether she wants you. If she is not interested, move on. Following a process gives you something useful to evaluate; it does not give you ownership of an outcome.
Review what you actually did
Afterwards, debrief the interaction against the steps you intended to follow. Do not rewrite the evening into a story where you were brilliant and the universe was unfair. Identify the point where your behaviour changed.
Did you avoid approaching? Did you stop showing your intentions? Did you make one woman's response so important that you forgot the process altogether?
That is what I mean by process improvement. Get the model clear, put yourself where you can meet women you want, and evaluate your own actions honestly. Stop treating every date as a referendum on your worth. You have another week ahead of you. What are you actually going to do with it?
