If a method becomes part of your identity, you may keep defending it long after you should have started comparing it with the alternatives.
That was the point of calling this February 2021 episode Daygame Is Dead. I had spent years doing and teaching day game. I still valued the skill. But I was finding online dating more efficient for my own objectives at that time, and pretending otherwise would have been ridiculous.
The goal was meeting women I wanted to meet. The goal was never defending a particular method forever.
Compare the time as well as the result
A conversion rate on its own can mislead you. One method may produce more results per attempt while requiring much more time for each attempt.
My main criterion was the relationship between results and time invested. That includes the preparation and the work required to become competent. An app is not automatically efficient because you can open it while sitting on a sofa.
You still need a profile that communicates something useful, the ability to hold a conversation and the judgment to arrange a meeting that both people want.
I was comparing methods as someone already experienced in person. A beginner starting from a different position should not assume he inherits the same trade-off.
The environment changes the starting point
Someone using a dating app has entered an environment organised around meeting people. That gives the interaction a different starting context from approaching a stranger who may simply be on her way to work.
It does not mean every match wants a date, and it certainly does not mean every match wants sex. Interest still has to be established between the two of you.
In person, you have advantages of your own. She encounters your voice, presence and personality immediately. You also encounter the actual person rather than a selection of photographs.
Neither channel removes uncertainty. They present different kinds of uncertainty.
Presentation matters differently
Online, the profile does a great deal of the initial work. If the photographs communicate badly, you may never reach the conversation in which you believe your personality would shine.
In person, you have more ways to express yourself from the beginning. That was one of the reasons I continued to value day game, especially as a learning experience.
I also discussed practical reliability. Bad weather changes what is possible on the street. Online conversations are less dependent on being outside at a particular time, although the eventual date still takes place in the real world.
Then there is enjoyment. I said quite plainly that I found day game more fun. Efficiency and enjoyment are separate criteria. You have to decide how much each matters to you.
Keep the skill and question the habit
The provocative title was not an instruction to stop learning how to meet people. I explicitly argued that the ability to approach and communicate in person remained valuable.
Online dating does not have the date for you. If you get someone to meet and then have no idea how to engage with her, the profile has only moved the problem down the line.
The broader lesson is the one I draw from Universal Laws. Keep returning to the objective. Compare methods honestly. Be willing to change your allocation of time when your experience gives you a reason.
This episode records my judgment in 2021, not a permanent law about every app or every city. The useful habit is to keep asking what works for you now and what it costs you to make it work.
