You have a regular job. Nobody recognises you when you walk down the street. You don't have a yacht full of models waiting for you to finish lunch.

That describes most men. The question is whether you use it as a description of your circumstances or as a reason to stop trying.

My position in this episode is straightforward. An ordinary guy can become good at meeting and seducing very attractive women. I don't accept that fame and money are prerequisites for learning that skill.

If I did, there would be very little point teaching the Hustler Elite.

Know what you are trying to improve

A conversation with Space from the Hustler Elite prompted this podcast. We were discussing how to judge skill in game.

For me, there are two questions. Are you meeting women you find genuinely attractive? And can you do that consistently?

One exciting story doesn't answer the second question. Collecting a lot of experiences you don't particularly want doesn't answer the first.

You need to know what matters to you, because otherwise it is easy to make the scoreboard look impressive while avoiding your actual ambition. If you got into game because you wanted to meet a certain kind of woman, don't quietly abandon that whenever you feel uncomfortable.

You can work towards that ambition without pretending you have already achieved it.

Stop borrowing somebody else's circumstances

Watching a famous man surrounded by women tells you something about his life. It doesn't automatically tell you what you should practise on Saturday.

He may have an audience, access to particular places and a social environment you don't share. The teaching question is what an ordinary student can learn and apply.

That distinction was central to the Hustler Elite. I wanted to find out whether my approach could transfer. Showing my own infield was one part of the work. Examining what happened when other men applied it was another.

If you are assessing a teacher, keep that question in view. What does his material ask you to do, and can you actually work on it in your own life?

Your expectations affect your actions

The practical problem with deciding that an attractive woman is out of your league is what you do next. Often, nothing.

You don't approach. You second-guess the invitation. You behave as though she has already rejected you, then use your lack of experience as evidence that you were right.

I put a great deal of emphasis on mindset because I see how it affects execution. The lines and structure matter. You still have to allow yourself to use them.

In SDL King, I set out the approach and the steps. Reading it gives you something concrete to practise. It doesn't remove your responsibility to go out and try.

Work around people who expect you to act

The group mattered because a student could bring an interaction back, receive direct feedback and return to the work. We could challenge the explanation he kept giving himself.

That is different from sitting alone after a disappointing evening and deciding you have discovered your permanent limit.

Support also includes accountability. If you said you would practise, did you practise? If you received feedback, what did you change? There is no benefit in telling everybody how much you want this while avoiding the work between sessions.

This episode belongs to the early Hustler Elite period in 2019. The old community offers in the recording are historical; the current coaching page is where to enquire about working together.

You don't need to pretend you have somebody else's resources. Start with your own circumstances and the skill you can develop. Then look carefully at the limitations you keep adding before anybody has even answered you.